For What It’s Worth

For what its worth, I share with you a profound to me in when I least expect it gifts from a stranger. The amazing timing and actual experience I had yesterday morning while tending to my weekly task maintaining the containers at sweet greens restaurant in downtown Palo Alto. 

But first detailing a little background history…

Beginning in January 2018,  I recognized and accepted some of my lessons of living in a very expensive state to begin with;

yet no longer attainable to own my own home here again; living in a nearby town of Redwood City in my cozy rented duplex. While choosing to not consider to relocate and leave this part of N. California; the hub of Silicon Valley with the tony high end Palo Alto, my former multi-million dollar home. My longest ever living in one place where I had cherished and loved and absolutely attribute wholeheartedly where I learned hands on training to be a gardener by designing my own home garden for over 22 years.

Nearby towns of Menlo Park, Atherton, Los Altos and Los Altos Hills and many other nearby suburbs costing an arm and a leg priced homes in any reality. Renting releases the unknown expenses of home repairs even with many renters getting notices to vacate when an owner is ready to then sell their rental homes.

Yes, living near my clients is worth less stress in some reality. It is how I am afforded the luxury to drive less time to do the tasks at hand and keep living here. Accepting the clarity there is a different cost —paying the price of working long days, working most days, week after week as a sole proprietor wearing many hats to run my growing landscape business.

As I grapple with my mind wandering is this reality and physical time here worth my time? 

Getting up early, shlepping the hose, buckets, leaf blower, broom, assorted necessary tools loaded on 2 wagons filled to do the tasks at hand, alone, week after week.  

My Devoted, prideful, routine temperament– I do what I do week by week and feeling more happy than scared or sad and proud of myself exactly where I am right now over 5 years since I moved out of my predictable, security and unhappy marriage. 

Yet, the flip side is this wondering, questioning and feeling is this predictable taxing schedule, really humbling, hard physical working day in and day out really all worth it? 

During the Pandemic, more and more people moved away to less expensive states to continue doing their jobs. Now Oregon, Washington, Texas, Idaho to name a few, have gotten more expensive with all the Californian’s relocating and jacking the prices up everywhere they moved away to in droves.

Now Pandemic is easing and our local world is opening up again with strangers once again out and about with their own agendas, schedules and places to be.  

My Wednesday morning is  a constant weekly commitment early to arrive just to have a  place to park my van. With the Pandemic changes now limited parking due to the restaurants using the streets for dining tables. 

My weekly time is focused on  maintaining  9 large succulent pots in front of the restaurant Sweetgreens in downtown Palo Alto. This sweet, healthy menu is near 2 local bars and a high end Italian restaurant I used to dine at with many fond memories with my ex husband and son for special occasions.

With much to distract in the present for my mind wandering, I really need to focus more on the actual tasks at hand. The hour time to focus on as I water each planter, prune and maintain the shape and scale of the plants, as well pick out the debris from the week of strangers passing by and tossing what they may into the pots or squishing into the sidewalk is all part of keeping the front looking its best. Assorted trash is part of the experience week after week.  Once again discovering tucked into the plants, the unfinished cans of beer, paper straw wrappers, finished stubs of cigarettes, chewed gum, discarded hair nets to name a few!

Once again I allow the reality this is a good place to be for me week by week with a known monthly steady source of income. I focus on these tasks aware that if I did not come how they would look fairly soon in my absence. I do make a difference in a similar reality to the weekly trash men that no one would like adjusting to reality if they did not come and pick up our trash every week.

I truly enjoy watching weekly how these planters with my conscientious attention to details eyes and appreciating the blooms that succulents produce.  It shocks me frequently to see the vandalism on these innocent pots. For whomever is out there feeling the need to steal a new or established plant behooves me time and time again.  I typically come prepared with something to add to anticipating and try to not make the pots too pretty but I have a hard time with anticipating what or when whomever with this devious mentality will snatch and run off with at their impulsive whim.

Now the gift for what its worth appeared randomly. 

Yet, was it random?!

As I was thus done putting all the equipment back in the van ready to drive to the other office building with 39 pots spread out on this large 2 story property. I had returned from walking to the alley to toss the clippings and trash in the really stinky, smelly dumpsters. I had just returned from washing my hands on the nearby locked faucet which I use to connect my hose. And just about ready to leave, when this women had been coming up the block using a cane to help support her getting where ever she is on her way to or from.  

She stops me and points to one of the pots and shares how she used to live in Palo Alto and her mom had succulents all over their garden. She went on sharing the hens and chicks were fun to prune and poke in the ground as a young girl and see that new space growing there into a new clump to start again or shared with friends to do in their gardens. She continued to tell me how she is comforted when walking by here. Her circumstance included she is homeless now and points to down the street where she had walked from currently living in a nearby church soon needing to move to another church. Telling me she was on her way to have breakfast at a local organization about half a mile away on foot – 

I want to emphasis using her cane to get to and from.  She was dressed normal. I would never have known she is homeless.  Her friendly banter, details of moving away to various other places and communicating Palo Alto is truly home to her.

She told me over and over how much she enjoys coming here. Adding she slows down and spends time looking at each pot during her days. She asked me personal questions which I found myself responding with openly and honestly. I detailed sharing how much I miss my former home of over 20 years too, due to my divorce and our selling our Palo Alto home. How much I miss those special one of a kind plants hopefully still thriving in that garden!  She asked me where I am from. I explained born and raised in Southern CA moved here 28 years ago, separated in 2016. Then I detailed my only child age 4 died in a blink from a random airborne virus back in 2005.   We both teared up as we shared. 

She had lived in Reno, Arizona, and Modesto raising her 2 kids. She emphasized Palo Alto is home to her. 

I inadvertently clipped some piece of one plant and then selected another and handed these cuttings to her. She thanks me and said where she is having breakfast they have a planter she will pop them into when she gets there. We giggled how easy and fun to share the succulents can be. 

We exchanged names at the end. Her name is Susan.  It takes my brain a day to absorb what all of this is about. Joseph dying in a blink. My becoming this Kim, not the mommy to my only son. I do my days…I work hard. At times tirelessly and wonder what it all means.

Why me? Why him? Why not me the last 18 months living outside working during the Pandemic of an airborne virus?

Yet then a random morning the end of June, here I am crossing paths with this homeless woman.

Both similarly out here doing what it takes to stay positive and be grateful, open to our joys to behold and blessings and memories.

Add in  resilient and just living it out! 

As she spoke I felt this energy that this was why I am still here. This is for what it’s worth. 

I have no clue who benefits seeing these plants just to be right here on an open public sidewalk looking the best I can physically maintain and create with all the given realities.

The inherent energy this job takes is adding in the energy in the fulfillment of the clients who find me and share in creating the vistas they wish to see when looking out their windows or being in the gardens we/I beautify for their friends and family.

The gifts of a stranger named Susan sharing with me for what it’s worth…

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a comment